Life's a Lie
by dansnotgossipgirl
Summary: "I never have to see you again" Those words echoed in his head like a broken record ever since he let Serena walked out of his life. He just hoped he wasn't too late to fix it, them.


Dan walked into the seemingly endless land. Dry leaves tumbled to the ground and the rays coming from the morning sun dazzled his eyes. He managed not to get lost despite the perplexing view. The trees looked somewhat identical and there were like hundreds of gray, white granite stones entrenched in the upper ground.

Reaching his destination, he felt his breathing becoming heavy and suddenly it was difficult for him to breathe. He loosened his tie, hoping it would help, but it didn't. He laid the flowers by the slab and hastily ran off before his emotions resurface.

**…**

Dan kept his eyes focused on the limpid glass in his hand, swirling its content. He was alone in a Bar, after a grueling day at work. He lifted his gaze sideways and noticed a petite brunette, imaginably in her twenties, occupied the seat next to him.

She smiled at him "Hi, I see you drinking alone," she said, stating the obvious. "You're Dan Humphrey, right?"

"I am," he answered politely with a slight nod. He wasn't really in the mood to chit chat, but still didn't want to embarrass the lady.

"Can I buy you a drink," she offered, it wasn't the first time something like that happened, ever since 'Inside', apparently being a published writer had its perks. And who was he to turn down such offer. "Sure…"

"Two tequila, please" the bartender set two shot glasses before them respectively, smirking, giving him a wicked look. "Keep em comin," she instructed.

A few rounds later, he lost count on their drinks, feeling a little light headed as his lady friend looked tipsy. She was staring at him, lust marked in her eyes. "Your place or mine," she suggestively asked, kneading on his thigh.

"I have a better idea." he said, grabbing her hand, leading them to the men's room.

As soon as they were inside the cubicle, she began to kiss him hard on the lips which he responded with the same energy, slipping his hand in her skirt. He groaned when he felt her stroking his bulge, she unbuckled his belt and pulled his slacks open. His lips moved to her neck, down to her breast, pushing her panties down.

He entered her roughly "Ah" a sound escaped her mouth, he slid in and out of her, moving faster and harder "Yeah, ah…" she moaned louder. He grunted reaching his end, he withdrew his sheathed shaft out and instantly pulled his pants back on.

"Let's go back to my place," she said seductively, sliding up a finger to his exposed chest.

He buttoned his shirt closed "Sorry, I can't tonight" he exempted.

"I'll see you around, then"

"Maybe" they left the room and went separate paths.

**…**

Dan opened the door to his apartment and went inside. He set down the keys and his brown satchel on the counter. He was taken aback to see the blonde on the couch, cradling a baby in her arms.

Serena spun her head in his direction, possibly heard him, came in. "Shh" she hushed, gesturing the sleeping child with her eyes. Dan miserably smiled and carefully sat beside her.

"Hey," she murmured, smiling charmingly at him.

"Hi" he uttered softly.

"She just fell asleep, I think she's waiting for Daddy," she said sweetly.

He avoided her eyes, feeling guilty and ashamed, "I'm sorry, I came home late" he apologized.

He couldn't take his gaze away from the beautiful baby. "Babe, are you okay? You look exhausted," Serena said with a concerned look, touching his cheek. He didn't respond.

"Are you hungry? I cooked" she said, making him chuckle soundlessly.

"Fine, I ordered in," she confessed, giggling. "Now, go get change, I'll just put her to bed" they both stood up, Dan placed a gentle kiss on the baby's head before the two marched to the nursery.

_*10-8-05 Flashback_

**_(Ashes by Andy Brown)_**

Dan rested his eyes on Serena, she was in the kitchen, heating the food in the microwave and sets his dinner on the small dining table. He walked slowly up to her and embraced her from behind. She released herself from his grip and faced him. He cupped her face and kissed her amorously "I love you," he said, looking into her eyes.

Serena smiled, looking back at him with so much love "I love you too…"

He washed the dishes afterwards and they went to bed.

Dan rolled on his side, prying his eyes open and spotted the empty side of the bed. He hoisted himself up with his elbow "Serena" he groggily called, only to realize they weren't really there, he was all alone.

**…**

Dan was hunched on the grass, the place was peaceful and he could only hear the sound of wind whispering through the trees. He offered the bouquet of pink daisies to the headstone.

**In Loving Memory of**

**Serena Celia van der Woodsen**

**Loving Daughter, Sister and Friend**

**1990 - 2012**

**Your Memories Will Forever Live in Our Hearts**

Serena died on a train, cause by a drug overdose and today was the 1st year anniversary of her death.

Every time he visits her, he could still feel his heart clench with sadness, ire and remorse for letting her leave that day, yearning for her presence. His tears fell onto his tightly enclosed fingers, remembering her gracefulness. "I miss you…" he let out with a hefty sigh. Loneliness engulfed his being with the realization that she will never come back. She was his first love and she would probably be his last.

_Forever_


End file.
